Getting my mastectomy cover up tattoo… what a whirlwind experience to say the least— I feel like I am still unpacking all of my emotions and energy that had been bundled up and saved for this special day.

Rewind to a couple of months ago— EmpowerInk with Pink In the City led by Karen Lazarovitz had posted on Instagram about a contest for winning a free mastectomy tattoo in Montreal.

I believe I had started following Karen months earlier because of the hashtag #mastectomytattoo or something along those lines, so when she posted this contest to her stories I figured I’d give it a shot and apply!

When I was in treatment discussing options of either a single, double, or flat mastectomy and which would be the better option for me, I really hadn’t known of the options for tattoos. I had just found out that realistic nipple tattoos were a thing and toyed around with that idea for awhile knowing in the end I would be having a “radical double mastectomy” which includes losing your nipples (at least in my case).

When I first started talking to Sam on Tinder (just weeks before my surgery), he had suggested a mastectomy cover up tattoo as a neat artistic way to heal. And so our conversations went back and forth for awhile, collecting beautiful images of artwork for survivors. My Pinterest board that initially had been created for tattoos of all kinds— had now become overridden with mastectomy art.

I lived with my scars for two years and didn’t mind the way I looked. Of course, I wish I had actual breast tissue and nipples to feel “normal” but I luckily have a partner that supports me regardless— he never knew my old body anyway, so he knew what he was getting into!

Winning the tattoo still feels unreal (even though it’s already come and gone). I remember getting a phone call from Quebec and ignoring it for a couple of days straight. Finally Karen sent me an email and voicemail and I clued in as to WHY I was getting this call— DUH! The artist and event were to happen in Montreal!

I was pretty shocked that I was chosen and right away she explained I’d be connected virtually with the artist willing to do my piece to see if we meshed well and if it’d be a good fit to move forward. I was told my artist had participated in last year’s contest and that he’s comfortable with tattooing over scar tissue and such so that put me at ease. I sent him my Pinterest board so he knew what I was thinking of in terms of style, placement, and that floral was my preference.

John was my artist @johnduro_tattoo

As you can see from his profile, he does a lot of heavy black line work with a focus on realism/portraits. You can tell he is very talented but I was surprised he wanted to do such a delicate floral piece. I sent his profile to my best friend Kaeley to give me her thoughts (since she’s covered in plenty of beautiful tattoos herself from reputable artists around Vancouver). All of my friends supported me in this decision and after chatting back and forth with John and seeing the mock up, I said yes!

I booked my flights only one week before the trip as I was waiting to get some feedback from my plastic surgeon on a few things (should I wait for a revision/lift or just go for it?) She gave me the option of fat grafting but with the risks involved and being overall happy with things, she encouraged me to just ‘go live life and get the tattoo!’ Just to be safe she scheduled me an ultrasound to review things after my trip.

Originally I was going to make the trip with my partner Sam but we had just gotten our baby puppy and leaving her at 10 weeks old didn’t seem right. So I invited along Kaeley since she’s experienced in getting tattoos, hadn’t ever been to Montreal, and figured why not make this a girls trip?!

And since Montreal is so close to Ottawa (the town I lived in from ages 15-25), I knew I had to double-up this trip to see some of my other best friends whom I hadn’t seen in 3 years since this whole cancer chapter of my life had started.

We landed in Montreal Saturday night and stayed in a hotel near the airport and ordered in UberEats.

All day Sunday we explored Vieux-Port (Old Montreal) and took tons of photos, tried a local brewery and café, popped into some shops, and were amazed by how beautiful and artistic the city and its architecture was.

We later met up with some of Kaeley’s friends and went out for dinner before meeting with my fellow #breastie survivor Marie to crash at her place. We were certainly lucky to have connected with friends on this trip!

Monday October 3rd was the tattoo day. So we got up early and Ubered to the tattoo shop @uptowntattoosmontreal

I was the last to arrive out of the 5 survivors. Everyone was seated on the couch in the centre of the shop chatting and getting to know one another. Karen welcomed everyone, gave her shoutouts to the artists and shop owner, to us survivors, and informed us of how the day was going to go.

We popped bottles of champagne, met with our artists, and got started with our stencil placements.

There was food, drinks, gift bags, a journalist and photographer there to document our day too! I felt very spoiled and special.

All of the ladies were so lovely. And we all had different bodies, surgeries, and stories… but funny enough we all opted for floral pieces for our tattoos.

You can check out the news article of us 5 survivors and our tattoos/stories here.

I was tattooed from roughly 1pm until 7pm this day with a few breaks. My artist definitely had his work cut out for him with all the fine lines and shadow details— not to mention it was a double piece! For the most part I lied there on the bed, listened to the buzzing of the needle, rode out the waves of pain (or odd sensations where I couldn’t fully feel anything), and chatted with people as they made their rounds around the shop to see how I was doing.

The day was very emotional but empowering. It was funny to just strut around topless all day while eating cookies in front of people but it felt comfortable. Everyone was so happy with their tattoos and in the end I certainly had a cry for myself when it was over.

I can’t thank John, Karen, the fellow survivors, my best friend Kaeley, and the shop owner enough for putting on this event. I think it’s incredible what you’re doing to help women move on from the trauma. I believe art can be healing and tattoos are badass, so it’s the perfect mix in my opinion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because I feel beautiful, NOT broken.